Monday, January 30, 2006

It's about time!!!

Just announced. May 9th.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

CLEMOND - more after this!


Last weekend o January has slipped on by and several profound things have occured... um... wait....

jack crap happened.

Actually, FAMILY GUY was a friggin highlight! stewie kicking the hell outta Brian... killer stuff!


Veronica returned last week - and we have yet to watch it. Hopefully Duncan Kane was hit by a large meteor and V went back to the Charisma Carpenter nailing Logan. Now that I think of it - I hope she joined them.

... that was wrong.


SMALLVILLE reached its 100th episode this week - killing off a major character. Actually, for a show that I do not enjoy - nor watch that often, I was very happy with it. The ep was directed by the man who directed the pilot of the series.

Good stuff!

So.... hmm... well...

Shaved my brother's head this weekend.... that was cool.

Drea headed off to Utah... I miss her. Hopefully we will hear from her.

Anyway... that is all I have... so....


BACK THE F*CK OFF I AM NOT THAT INTERESTING!!!


Ugh. Yo

Friday, January 27, 2006

"The Aristocrats"


Who has seen this wonderful little film. Just Netflixed it last night and all I can saw is....


1. Bob Saget is filthy...truely Sheriff like in his sludge...Bravo Bob Saget!

2. Sarah Silverman is yummy

3. Kevin Pollak does a killer Christopher Walken

Must be seen to be enjoyed.

All filthy comments welcome.

b.o.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

My favorite blog!!!


I know I have talked up the Scrubs blog before... but guys, post #24 is a table read from the 100th episode! It runs nearly 20 min and really shows the cast - the writers... and all that goes into making this show great!

Check it out - it is absolutely worth it!!!


scrubs blog

Yo!

10 years man! 10 YEARS!!!!


Tomorrow is an important day for Dan and Hol... but also a day that they won't celebrate. Tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of Dan and Hol beginning to date. 10 years!

Holy crap. I heard that and about fell over. 10 years... I have not even been wearing deodarant for 10 years (puberty was late for me) - let alone sharing my life with someone!!

I find it most impressive that these two have endured the 10 years of challenges - difficulties - family issues... and all of the fun that comes with building your world with another in it. And they do it with such large smiles.

One little nugget of info - their first date - the first time they went out together - Dan took Hol to go see DEAD MAN WALKING! How hot is that!


Congratulations to my sis and brother in law. You are the b@lls.

Yo

(sorry about the b@lls comment - had to put something funny in there!)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Hee hee!


Disney buys Pixar and Steve Jobs for $7.4bn

By Stephen Lawson, IDG News Service

Disney has bought animation studio Pixar for $7.4 billion. The long-anticipated deal with see Apple CEO, who is also head of Pixar, join Disney's board of directors.

Pixar has shared its digital animation expertise several times with Disney in a string of blockbuster films including Toy Story, Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo and The Incredibles.

Jobs is chairman and CEO at the studio and owns approximately 50.6 percent of the outstanding shares of Pixar. Pixar shareholders would receive 2.3 Disney shares for each Pixar share in the all-stock deal, the companies said, and Jobs would become the largest individual shareholder of Disney following the deal's close, according to news reports.

In 2005, Jobs was worth $3.3 billion, making him the 67th richest person in the US, according to the Forbes magazine's Forbes 400 list.

The boards of both companies have approved the acquisition but it still needs shareholder and regulatory approval. The companies said they expect the acquisition to close in the summer.


Steve Jobs now can take over the world... Disney - ABC - ESPN... Apple...

Holy Crap!

Yo

I hate news like this.


Bad news on our Wednesday - actor Chris Penn was found dead in his condominium in Santa Monica - with no signs of foul play.


I think most of us remember Penn's work from Resevoir Dogs playing Nice Guy Eddie. Or perhaps you hold the memory of his young look from the film Footloose. I remember him doing some amazing stuff in True Romance as well as Robert Altman's Short Cuts (his character is the saddest most confusing of the film!). It seems the last few years he has been left to small bit parts in TV shows (Entourage) and bigger movies (Starsky and Hutch).


What is truly creepy about all of this is that Chris was only 41 years old! He was only about 10 years older than most of us!!!

And now he is gone. Damn - honestly, he is one of the few actors I truly wish we could have seen some major work from. Similar to Gene Wilder... another actor I want (wanted) to see some diverse and interesting stuff from... Chris Penn is now placed in the Hollywood history books... never to have his moment.

Chris' final film, The Darwin Awards, is scheduled to premiere this week at Sundance.

Yo

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

They need a telethon to cure f*ck-face-itis!


Last night Jer came over and joined us for dinner - after some shopping at Best Buy, we came back home and watched some "How I Met Your Mother" which keeps coming up with surprisingly good episodes! Afterwards, we almost threw in some "The Shield," when Devin reminded us that he had never seen an episode of "The Sopranos."

Giddy joy took over my senses - I ran downstairs and grabbed season 1. We settled in and fell in love with this perfect series all over again.


AJ was a little porker! Big Pussy was running around F*ckbucks looking for a car theif! Chris was just beginning to date Adrienna! And Meadow had yet to go through her chubby days!!

God - what an amazing series! What an amazing first two seasons!! Granted, things go down a tad after the 3rd. And the 5th did not really live up to our normal expectations... but this never deters us from getting really excited to watch the show.

Season 6 (the final season) begins on March 16. It is presented in two parts - 12 eps in March and 8 more in Jauary of the next year. That will be the end of the show (as far as David Chase is concerned) and the end of one of TV - Film - all artistic media's finest works!!


Just finished up reading Robinson's "Gilead." The book took the pulitzer this year and it is only the second full novel by the author (her first was 20 years ago!).

"Gilead" is the final memoirs of a dying pastor in Iowa writing to his young son. Totaly first person narrative - chocked full of observant moments of beauty and sadness... but really a somewhat slow read with little story (there is one that arrives 3/4 way through the book). Not really my favorite read - but it does have some awfully wonderful moments. Yet - the main character never really took hold of me, keeping my emotions for his state at a distance (though it can be argued that is the point).

Kind of an "ugh."


This is coming up next - the book hovers in the top 20 of all time lists. So expectations are high!

Gilmore - Scrubs - steaks tonight!!!

For those of you still viewing House instead of Scrubs... GET OFF MY D*CK!!!

Yo

Monday, January 23, 2006

I think its poo....


So I think everyone knows that I went out and bought a lovely iPod for myself last week. A nice white 60 Gb video iPod that I love and cherish!! But unfortunately, some headaches have come into owning this device.

I don't have a tape player in the car, so I am forced to use a FM Modulator to do the trick... I am on my third product - having taken back two others that don't cut it. The third one is the worst of the bunch... thusly frustration has entered.

The real kick in the nuts came when I got to work today! I spent the weekend with Greg and Andrea and Mercedes this weekend (we had a ball getting drunk and playing with Mercedes' love lumps) and got to download their entire song collection.

I had all of the Sinatra! Tons of quality 60's and 70's grooves!!

But I came into work... connected the iPod to my machine without thinking... and watched as it all disappeared!!!! That pissed me off.


Another frustration of the day was having to sit at home and wait for the plumbers to come mop up the basement. The sewer drain got clogged... and all sorts of yummies came up to play.

Thankfully the plumbers were quick and did not track too much poo throughout the house.


Finally, we did view HIGH TENSION this weekend with the Krietners. This french film came out last summer and barely eeked out some dough.

I was not really keen on viewing, but the Sheriff can be persuasive (he's got his balls in alot of pies, but when he gets focused - he gets what he wants).


The film was quite gory - and it offered up some stunningly offensive images (we have all see the shot of the man with a head bobbing up and down in his lap whilst sitting in a car... but have we seen him toss out the severed/used head from the car? EWWWWWW!!!). It also contains a decent twist in the final act. Probably not twisty enought to recommend... but cooler than I thought it was going to be.

Looking forward to one final trip to the Apple store - a house that smells like diaper candy... and some chili.

How else can we check to see if the plumbers did their jobs?




(ewwwwwwwwwwwwww)

Yo

The Kern Sells Out

If you haven't already, you might go to my blog and read today's piece. I've moved to phase two in my plans for corporate whoredom. Yes, that's right.

Merchandising.

Check out the link over there. It's preliminary, and perhaps too expensive, but it's a good place for me to start until I can figure out t-shirt prices from other places. We may get those Kern Returns with Tea Bag Posse shirts after all!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Family Circus: Kern Style!


This is up on my blog too, but in case you don't make it there, I thought this was a bit amusing for a Friday.

If you think this is bad, you should see the captions I did for Mary Worth. Who knew she had a mouth like the bastard child of a longshoreman and a phone sex operator?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

It's a new gimp every week!!


Scrubs last night was perfect! We were laughing for the solid hour - dying at two Donald Faison (Turk) bits. His initial "Gonna get me sex" song and his brain freeze bit. I love it when he screeches that high pitched scream of pain (takes me back to season 2 with the Dr. Kelso punch to the nuts bit!!).

Please... Kern - Sheriff... those with memories that hold up far better than mine. Roll through some quality lines today - so I can re-watch it in my mind!


So ol Luke has decided that post... um... hopefully everyone watched. So Luke is drowning in his own stupid decisions - a character change that continues to confound me!

Why do this to him? To Lor? Why use his own line ("I am all in") on him about his daughter ("You have to be all in or nothing!")? The pieces all connect to create drama - but it feels like pushed drama. I am not sure how Lor could forgive him for not speaking about all of this for 2 months??!?!? It is pretty ridiculous!

I dunno - I did enjoy seeing Logan back. His confrontation of Lor was perfect for his character... handled very well. The note bit was really good - a moment for the girls that seemed spot on with their characters.


I am in discussion with my brain and my pocket book about buying one of these new iMacs. They have the same processor as the Macbook, but runs with a smaller price tag.

Devin bought his laptop (which may be shipping today - he should post on it and show some pics!) and that means I officially have an itch to buy a computer. These new iMacs seem to be super fast and strong enough for the video work I want to do on them.

Any opinions?

LOST tonight!

Yo

Monday, January 16, 2006

How am I supposed to f*ck a dog with this?


What a weekend!

Ok - starting off, the quote for the title of this post is from Friday night. Dan, Hol, Josh and I had the pleasure of joing 30 or so passengers on a birthday drunk bus! We toured about 7 bars - met a few new people - got very drunk - and made tons of fun bad decisions (what else are drunk buses for?!?!)!!

The quote was scribed on the ceiling of the bus and Dan and I giggled re-reading it everytime we got in!


Saturday was devoted to our SLUMBER PARTY CHALLENGE!! The gang gathered and spent the night drinking and playing old Nintendo games (which were a blast to try and find)... and a load of sugary treats were tossed in (carmel brownies... better than crack!!) just to make sure pounds were gained.


Devin came out on top for the evening (he won Duck Hunt with an astounding 300,000+ score) when he magically picked an Ace from a deck of cards... Hmm... I can see now the challenge lessend as the evening progressed!


This was the prize for the challenge - The Giant Cock! Come on down to our house and take in Devin's Giant Cock... it is most impressive.


Sunday was football and moving a desk with Dan/Hol for Rhonda/Larry/Lynds - Lar whipped up some stellar chili (which I will be enjoying for lunch today!!) and we all viewed the Bears dropping the playoff ball completely.

I was off yesterday - so I spent the day watching all 13 eps (actually only 9, I had watched 4 Sunday night) of the SHIELD! Good stuff...

Slide show of Slumber Party pics


View this clip on Vimeo

Windows



Enjoy

Yo

Friday, January 13, 2006

Hazzzzaaaa....Buttercup was born 1/14/????


Just giving a shout out to my #1 wifey and best friend Buttercup. She will be having a birthday on Saturday and I am very proud of her for starting on her new career path.


Horray Drea!!!



signed,

Sheriff Officer T. J. Hooker, Lilly & Tulip

peace out

Thursday, January 12, 2006

My little trip

I figured now is as good a time as any to show a few pictures of my trip to Sacramento(Although all the pictures are from my sub trip to San Francisco). The picture above is from an old military cannon bunker built into the side of the mountain overlooking the city. I think my entire trip to San Francisco can be seen from this vantage point. My ramblings will center on my activities Saturday, which included a stop at Alcatraz.

Here we are waiting for the trolley. For those of you who haven't met her, my sister is the one in the light purple jacket that looks just like me.

This picture is an advertisement for Coca-Cola that I found and was amazed at how much the actors looked like my sister and I.

Obviously this would be Alcatraz, taken from the ferry as we approached.(Can't think of a better narration for this one)

My little bit of techno-geek for this post. This is one of the cells that was escaped from. Lying on the floor is the drill the inmate made. I can't help but wonder how annoyed the other escapees were that they had to use a spoon to chip away the concrete and this guy got a power drill.

I had to include this photo cause I really like it. This is my brother-in-law and sister at sunset, on Alcatraz, overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge.

By the time we left Alcatraz it was dark out so I couldn't help but take a picture of San Francisco all lit up.

Here we are at the end of the day Saturday enjoying dinner at Scoma's. I do have to say I highly recommend a stop at this place for anyone going to San Francisco. It's higher priced than most restaurants I get to eat at but the food was incredible. For those of you that might notice a slight inebriated look on our faces(mine and my Brother-in-law's) the half empty bottle of wine was after waiting at the bar for our table to be ready.

The rest of the trip mainly consisted of spending quality time with my increasingly pregnant sister, although there was a fun road trip for me on a borrowed Harley. Anyway a great time was had, as well as a lot of really good food. For those of you still reading this, over 200 pictures were taken total during the trip so be thankful I am stopping here.

Kern Returns '06: Input Time

Hey all. I know most of you got to see the teaser poster so you know I am planning to come back for more drunken debauchery and naughty antics. The question is, when? I would like to plan it so that I might see as many of you lovely people as possible at the bash. I'm hoping to come in June so it's not quite as hot as I nearly melted into a puddle of goo last year.

I remember Deit saying something about the 10th or thereabouts being Pride weekend so I am thinking any other weekend in June besides that. So as a rough idea, what might work for you guys? I'll compile the results and compare them with the other potential non-Damfinoblog reading attendees' responses and see if I can get in the ballpark.

Thanks all!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Wasn't she Jess's step-mother!?!?


Maybe I am just getting bitter - perhaps my attitude towards life and humor is becoming jaded and empty. I am not sure I cracked a smile throughout last nights episode! I actually became annoyed with Sookie to no end... and often found the ramblings of Lor and Rory to be tedious (ok, the apartment moments were funny!).

I guess it is really my sad acceptance that the series has gone soap opera on us with the intro of Luke having a kid. The concept is sooo left field... sooo obviously for dramatic effect... that the show really begins to weaken and demonstrate how fabricated it really is!

And for god's sake Luke - she found the perfect dress... through out a compliment... smile... give her a moment (and if he rags on her for loving snow one more time I am gonna put a bullet in his rancid blue hat!)!


I kinda dig the path ol Logan is taking. Liked the bit where he sat in with Paris... and also Rory's therapy session. Though it is not often funny to mock therapy and those who go, I did like Lor's line about Rory being nuts.

Rory is definitely coming off spoiled and bitchy to me (that scene where she attacks the professor about getting in her class... I wanted to projectily vomit on her!). She needs to be broken down a few more times... and shown the world does not revolve completely around her.


Finally, Scrubs kinda disappointed as well. Don't get me wrong, I laugh my @ss off quite a bit during the shows... but they just seem to come up dry or odd to me. The second episode was pretty darn good - though we keep getting too much naken Zach Braff if you ask me.

As usual, Sarah Chalke was amazing... looked amazing... yummy. Her "frick's" are completely out of control this year... and that kills me everytime.

BTW - the best stuff I have seen all week was on Family Guy. If you did not see that ep - you completely missed out!!

"Hello fellow Hebrews and Shebrews! I went to purchase a TV this morning and Us'd the owner down to $200!!"

Yo

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Steve Jobs is having a good year!!!


Ohhhh - the balls!!!


Intel is yummy!


My buddy in the office just bought one... I can feel my tax return already slipping from my grip!

Jobs and Apple recorded some amazing numbers this past year - thanks to the magical iPod! iPod sales skyrocketed over 14 million units during the holidays (compared with 4 million last year) and 32 million for the entire year!!! They have only sold 42 million since its initial release... 90% from this past year alone!

I should have bought some stock years ago!

Yo

I Heart Tuesdays!!!


New Gilmore tonite! Luke begins to destroy his relationship with Lor... to be expected. But I will drool none-the-less.


And another hour of Scrubs!! What the hell is NBC doing blowing throug eps like they are!??!


Finally, Devin has returned from his trip to Sacremento (with a stop off in San Francisco... B@STARD!!!) and shall regale us with photos and stories galore. Hopefully he got me a gift t-shirt.. preferably one thats says "I came all the way to San Francisco and all I did was punch a hippie!"

Tons of work to do... pce out kids (and for Kern's sake go vote for his blog... I hate seeing that boy beg).

Yo