Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Goooooooooooooo BBBBEEEEEEAAAARRRRSSS


Thought of all you boys with this one.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

"Stream this" baby!

http://www.thefabulousstrip.com/


my new favorite work site music escape. swing baby!


salute

sheriff

Monday, January 29, 2007

BEHOLD!!!! A FLAMING CHICKEN!!!


I get a real kick out of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, a show that my cousin Jeremy introduced me to a few years ago. I watch it nearly every evening before bed (if Cara lets me) and I have a season on DVD that I try to push on people when they come over to visit.

If you have never seen or heard of the show... well... watch an episode and see if you can tell me what it is about.

The creators have a new movie coming out called AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE COLON MOVIE FOR THEATERS - and here is the trailer. I laughed quite a bit... but we will have to see if anyone will actually pay to watch this.

Weekend was fun - ate cake for 3 days straight. Didn't completely freeze.

Yo

Friday, January 26, 2007

Seasons change


I finally had a chance to see Tuesday's episode of Gilmore Girls last night and I feel compelled to make some comments about it. I love this show - we all have a fondness for it (save Devin) - but for the first time since Amy Palladino (ASP) left the show, I found myself really disliking what I had seen.


There has been quite a bit of loathing poured onto David Rosenthal for the show's tepid 7th season, but of course, he is dealing with the conumdrum that ASP wrote the series into last year. Rosenthal embraced those challenges and put a different spin on things that I found interesting. But Tuesday's episode was really a shallow/pale version of what this show once was.


I did not laugh at anything - not even Gil's return! I found the Lane pregnancy visually sloppy and uninteresting. Lor and Rory continuing to have issues with Christopher making changes is a ridiculous character killing storyline (or simplistic way to create a problem between them). Adding in dialogue about Rory going to London with Logan and solving their fight... ugh... bad writing.

And finally... the drama... the drama has become... soapy.


I know - everyone will say "It's been soapy since the beginning!!!" But it just seems that ASP had a way to take dramatic situations and turned them lyrically on their heads. She could erase the notion that we had seen all of this before (a woman leaving her fiance at the alter!?!? How shocking!!) and would spin the tale that would make me laugh and fake cry.

Now... now we have Luke suffering in a child custody case... Lor beginning to see how much she loved him (I am going to vomit with frustration in how ridiculously simple it seems her emotions move from one extreme to another... and I know in a sense that can be real... but we need to see into these characters!!! Show us a damn scene that makes us believe in her emotions!!)... Chris being slowly written off the show. It all is so... cheap.


For the first time ever - a Gilmore Girls episode ended... and I said to myself... that was worthless.

Strange though - I go to gilmoregirls.org... (shutup you heartless b@stards) and there is a post from the site creator about how this episode marks the first good moment in the season. Hmmm - I really know nothing.

Yo

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Go soak yerself!


I was fully prepared to write a wonderfully scathing review of Shyamalan's LADY IN THE WATER (I endured it last night) when I came across this review of the film on salon.com.

I am going to post it here - it says all I wanted to and more...read it and learn that you need not view this film.

Enjoy - Yo

"Lady in the Water"

By Stephanie Zacharek - July 21, 2006

"A Scrunt would do anything to kill a Madam Narf -- even fight his fear of the Tartutic."

Funny, I was just thinking that -- and also pondering how the inhabitants of the Blue World might rise up to make us land dwellers the peaceful, noble people we ought to be -- and there goes M. Night Shyamalan, stealing my thunder. "Lady in the Water," which Shyamalan wrote and directed (he also appears as one of the characters), is a fable about community, about fulfilling our potential as earthlings, about believing in the power of myth. You shall know this from the opening credits, in which an authoritative lecture-hall voice-over explains that "Man does not listen very well," that we're greedy, and that we're driven to fight needless wars. Later, a naked girl will emerge from an apartment-complex swimming pool, and all will become clear. But not before the oracle divines the truth from the backs of cereal boxes.

Up-front, I must tell you that by reading this, you may encounter a spoiler or two, not because I want to wreck any potential surprises in "Lady in the Water," but because I no longer have any idea what constitutes a surprise in a Shyamalan movie. The fact that Bruce Willis, in "The Sixth Sense," was actually dead -- OK, that I got. But in "Signs," when the alien turned out to be a tall, faceless extra tiptoeing around Mel Gibson's living room in stretchy PJs -- one who could be vanquished by a bucket of water -- I lost all faith in Shyamalan's alleged mastery of the surprise-shockeroo plot twist.

And when the inhabitants of Shyamalan's 19th century village actually turned out to be a modern-day cult, I didn't flip my tea cozy, as so many of the Shyamalan faithful did. The director's defenders argue that his pictures mine deeper themes: They have much to tell us about the human condition, and if we heed the tootling of Shyamalan's trumpet, we can rise up as a people and feel the wind beneath our wings. They may have a point -- Shyamalan's movies sure do entail a lot of flapping. The breeze of enlightenment that comes off his movies feels belabored, laden with meticulous details that, if you think about them even just the tiniest bit, essentially mean nothing.

"Lady in the Water" may contain more fonebone spirituality than any Shyamalan picture yet. Paul Giamatti plays a Philadelphia apartment-complex super with the sad-sack name Cleveland Heep. Cleveland stutters, and he also has a Secret Past (TM). For days now, he thinks he's been hearing someone splashing around, after hours, in the apartment pool (swimming after 7 is verboten). And sure enough, one evening he spots the cavorting nymph. Then he slips, poolside, knocking himself out. He awakens in his chaste, modest bed to find this dewy creature -- dressed in one of his shirts, and nothing else -- keeping watch over him with her unblinking eyes.

Her name, he learns, is Story, and she's from the Blue World. (The movie gets one of its many jolts of attempted humor when Cleveland asks, "Is that an apartment complex?") Story -- she's played by Bryce Dallas Howard -- is a Narf, a special sea being who has come to the land of men to help change the world, to lead us out of our troubled state. But to do this, she must return to her world: Apparently, a giant eagle known as the Great Eatlon is supposed to swing by, like a suitor in a Camaro, and pick her up. But the Scrunt -- a critter who looks like a cross between a wild boar and a coyote, with spiky AstroTurf glued to his back -- wants to kill her before that can happen. Except, there's a rule that states he can't. Only, he's broken that rule. As you can see, this is all very complicated.

Cleveland wants to help Story, and so he enlists the aid of the complex's many residents. What an assortment! All colors, shapes and sizes -- might this vast variety be a metaphor? Each has a different profession, hobby or skill: Bob Balaban plays a book and movie critic who's just moved in -- he is, of course, the resident cynic. Shyamalan plays a serious-minded, yet somewhat lackadaisical, unpublished writer, who shares an apartment with his sister (Sarita Choudhury). Jeffrey Wright is a crossword-puzzle expert. Bill Irwin is a bookish weirdo who never leaves his room and rarely speaks (except, of course, to spout essential truths). Cindy Cheung and June Kyoto Lu play a mother-daughter team who impart much necessary Asian wisdom -- Mom in particular is a treasure trove of Calgon-style Ancient Chinese Secrets. And look closely and you might get a few glimpses of poor Jared Harris, an interesting actor who's wasted, literally and figuratively, here. (He's listed in the credits as "Goatee Smoker," though the more literal-minded will surely point out that he's been smoking something else.)

"Lady in the Water" has the lightest touch of any Shyamalan movie, which isn't saying much: Shyamalan seizes several opportunities to poke fun at himself, only to scuttle back to the safety of his usual faux-philosophical muck. The picture is filled with pink herrings -- they're not even full-bodied enough to be red ones. Crossword-puzzle clues seem very significant -- until they turn out not to be. Butterflies are attracted to Person A -- until, in a wedged-in line of expository dialogue, we learn it's really Person B they've been flocking to. And so on.

And, as always, Shyamalan has enlisted a number of terrific actors who try to make the best of his loony material. Howard, who appeared in Lars von Trier's "Manderlay," as well as playing the valiant blind girl in "The Village," has unusual features and regal bearing, and she's lovely to look at: Her ultrafair skin has the pale-bluish tinge of skim milk. Shyamalan may make lousy movies, but it's hard to find fault with his choice of cinematographers: Roger Deakins shot "The Village," giving it a moody but vibrant glow, and Christopher Doyle (who has shot some of Wong Kar Wai's most visually astonishing pictures) makes this movie's suburban-rental-unit setting look entrancingly tropical, even though we can also see how run-down it is. Doyle doesn't fail Howard: She glows like a beacon throughout "Lady in the Water." But I'm not sure she gives much of a performance. Listening to her churn out sentences like, "Your words are very beautiful. Your heart is very big," tortured within their seeming simplicity, I kept wondering what her line readings would be like if her character had only been allowed to use contractions.

But Giamatti is the real heartbreaker here. He believes so fervently in the complexities of his character that we almost see them, too. Giamatti shows us how deeply, and how readily, Cleveland buys into the power of the fairy tale around him, just by the way he averts his eyes from Story's gaze, or, at the movie's climax, betrays his own sense of wonder over working a bit of magic on his own. But he can't keep his grip on this limp, moist movie -- no actor could. "Lady in the Water" challenges us to believe in the power of myth. But the big challenge here is surviving the tedium of Shyamalan's meandering inventiveness. What's supposed to be fanciful storytelling is really just audience punishment. Story is the one who craves the cool safety of water. So how come we're the chumps left soaking in it?


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Hoberman's Spielbergization


I just finished a fascinating essay written by Village Voice critic J. Hoberman - check it out here.

Last year, I threw the Best Film of '06 love onto Spielberg's MUNICH. I thought the picture was moving - challenging - and full of interesting images and ideas. Hoberman's essay speaks a lot about MUNICH as well as Spielberg's many other brilliant films - the essay looks deep into the directors intentions and associates his political drive to the Daryl Zanuck's "let's make propaganda for the public" call to arms in the 40's.

Although I disagree with quite a bit of the reading that Hoberman does (calling WAR OF THE WORLDS a defense of Bush War agenda? Somehow a statement that we should lay our arms and trust our government? Not sure about that.) the essay is a quick and engaging reading of Spielberg's work.

Not for the masses - Kern will enjoy - Kreitner might dig it - but it is written for the film criticism geek in mind!

Yo

Monday, January 22, 2007

Going to Miami!


Wow - those were two amazing Championship games!!! I am thrilled with the outcome - Bears vs. Colts - a dream game for me.

Yesterday we had my Grandmother's birthday celebration at Mama Lacona's - it was at 1 pm - the Bears played at 2.

We had a TV in the party room - but they had Mediacom and the game was on Fox - Mediacom had dropped Fox! Dan and I ran off to buy an antenna - but we could not find one... so we pulled the plug from the wall and worked the reception utill finally a signal was found!!

The game was insane - intense and shockingly one sided by the end. The Saints looked really strong for a while there - but kind of gave up to the defense late in the 4th.

The Colts game was phenomenal - exciting throughout. I was really happy to see Manning play so well (one interception!) and watch the Pats lose.


This is going to be an amazing Super Bowl - Bears are back again!!! Yeah baby!!!


I also got out to see Pan's Labyrinth this weekend. Cara really disliked the film because it was truly brutally violent - and it's sad and absolutely depressing tone and ending left her with nothing to love.

I liked the film - truly admired it - but felt for everyone who hated it. It is truly depressing - the fantasy aspects are waaaay overpowered by the violent reality. I think Del Toro could have effectively pulled back on the violence and still told the same story - with it's somber tone! Then maybe most of the viewers would not walk out so disappointed.

It will not be nominated for major awards at the Oscars - and it is kind of hard to recommend to others because of it's violence and total negative feeling about it. So - I would give it an A-. It was so close to being a masterpiece... if only a little less was given to the darkness - and a little more to the fantastical world that is created - then perhaps I could tell everyone to see it.

Anyway - great wintery weekend - the Audi loves the snow!!!

Yo

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Kreitner's see red!


Old hotness!


New Hotness!!


TOTAL HOTNESS!!!

Sheriff - please add annecdotes and story to above photos.

Yo

"It all comes down to poo!"


Hiya cats and kittens!

Tonight is a momentous evening of sorts - not only is it new eps of The Office - 30 Rock - and our beloved SCRUBS - but it is also the musical episode of SCRUBS.

Ah yes, how long we have all waited to see our favorite docs of Sacred Heart break into song and tell us all how we all come down to poo... in rhyme!


The SCRUBS crew has been waiting to do a musical ever since Mr. Joss Whedon blew all of our collective TV viewing minds with his catchy yet brilliant episode of Buffy - "Once More with Feeling!"

I was quite surprised to see the singing chops of the Buffy crew (Hannigan aside - she admitted singing was not her gig) and I look forward to seeing how Braff and Co. handle the duties (though I have heard Chalke does not sing - it ain't her gig either!).


Being the uber dork that I am - I hit Zach Braff's blog (zachbraff.com) and saw he took some time and wrote a huge post after the Globes. He mentions the musical and how much he loves it. Take some time and go read it - well done for Braff!

As for the rest of us - you best be watching... or I will hunt you down like the filthy dogs you are and punish you.

Make you watch According to Jim or something...

Yo

Monday, January 15, 2007

"Do you dig it?"


We're gonna keep this simple.

Cara and I took a drive off to Chicago this weekend to celebrate our one year anniversary. We stayed at the Ambassador Hotel - had some delicious Chicago-style pizza at Giordano's - spent a few hours at the Art Institute of Chicago - walked about the city - and prepped for a nice evening about town.


The exact details of the proceeding events are none too clear - it has something to do with flop sweat - a bar/restaurant called the Pump Room - and a question that will go down in infamy.


This is Cara Beth Rainey.


This is Cara Beth Rainey's ring.

She likes me.


Yo

Friday, January 12, 2007

New Year, More Crotchety

He's back, and he's cranky.

New Season of Listen! Listen, Listen, Listen, Listen, Listen!!! begins today.

Hugs and ****,

Kern

Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Wedding & a Gazeebo


As Josh and Christi's wedding day plans roll on (and we inch closer to the bachelor party to end all bachelor parties!) - loads of fun little anecdotes will pass us by.

Josh & Christi have created a blog to keep us up to date on the wedding goings-ons... going ons... whatever. The wedding stuff!!

Check it out The Wedding!


They have posted twice already - it should be a fun site to check weekly for tales of the weird and stressful!

I just hope Josh won't be posting any wedding night thong purchasing pictures... that would just be destructive to my psyche.

Yo

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Apple "rings" in the New Year!


Steve Jobs has done it again - yesterday Apple had their first 2007 keynote and Jobs presented his newest innovation... the iPhone.

I have been waiting for quite a while for this device and having just 28 days ago renewed my contract with Verizon for two years (D'OH!!!), Apple's timing could not have been worse for me. I will have to choke on a $200 fee to get out of my contract to join Cingular - once the phone is released in June (with a price tag of $500).


You may ask - why is Jed so excited? (if you are asking yourself then you don't know me at all and should probably not be reading this blog) The excitement comes in not only having a gorgeous phone designed by Apple - but also a device that also stands as a widescreen iPod and a fully integrated internet browser.

With a simple turn to the side, the phone becomes a widescreen iPod, finally producing a larger image than the video iPod's we have been using. The interactive menus look stunning...


Taking advantage of the new look of iTunes, the phone replaces your current iPod completely (though space concerns could be an issue).


The real kicker is the new internet browser - a Safari based program, it allows you to cruise the internet on the small device with ease. There is a really nice zoom function that makes reading the information very easy. This feature brings the benefits of the phone home to me!! I can now run my calendar - do all of my work (excluding editing) - from this device.


I can't wait to get my grimy hands on this thing... June... UGH!!!

Watched Little Miss Sunshine last night - it was ok. I laughed - I thought the characters were interesting... but something was off. Something seemed fake.

Dunno.

Must obsess about new Apple iPhone - HD TV's - and new LG Blue-Ray/HD-DVD player!!!!

Need some major cash soon!


Good shirt

Yo

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Movies movies moooooovies


It was a great weekend to get some films watched that I missed in the theater - sadly, most were quite underwhelming.

The Black Dahlia failed to meet even my minimal expectations. De Palma failed to produce a speck of interest in any character in the film (especially with our lead heroes) making the experience murky and looong. The story failed and the filmmaking defintely struggled to keep my interest.

Even some Depalma novelties (POV shot - actor from Phantom of the Paradise) did nothing to help the film - at times they simply made a sad stamp showing that it was in fact his product.



I also threw down WTC - Oliver Stone's attempt to gracefully address the horrors of 9/11. More successfull than the previous film - but nowhere near the quality of Paul Greengrass' United 93! WTC feels a little empty on personal connection to the characters. Cliche's seem to fly around most of the images (even if the trapped sequences are somewhat exhilarating) leaving a film that seems to pump its chest claiming it is an emotional hit - rather than the stale miss it is.


Stone should have taken some lessons from Alfonzo Cuaron - his film Children of men blew me away.Cara and I snuck off for a date night this weekend and I was able to convince her to come see the film. She was happy she did - leaving as stunned and exhilarated by the experience as I was.


I was astonished by the complexity of the world that Cuaron has created. Not since Minority Report (which was also shot by Emanuel Lubezki) have I seen such a realistic look into the future. The camera walks around scenes of tortured refugee camps and bombed out coffee shops, showing inner London as the surving landscape for "civilized" society.

The film excels in storytelling, leaving me unsure as to where the film would go how things would resolve. I loved every grandoise long take that Cuaron used to deliver the viewer into this hell world - yet I also fell in love with the characters, enjoying every pot filled breath by Michael Cain!!!Children of Men can be shocking - crushing - exciting - luscious... and breathtaking.


This is the 3rd of Cuaron's films I have seen (following Prisoner of Azkaban and Great Expectations) and it definitely towers over the rest. I tossed Yu Mamma Tambien on Netflix arriving Tuesday. I will let you know how that goes.

Mega exciting week coming up... well, not really. But Scrubs is back... and 30 Rock and the Office las week were all gold!!!

Yo

Friday, January 05, 2007

"It all goes back to the 9 Steps."


Buttercup and I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" last evening and really enjoyed ourselves. The ensamble cast worked and the kid was cute. Laughed out loud several times and the last act is a hoot. Lilly and Tulip give it 2 paws up. Enjoy the weekend all. Perhaps we will get some winter in February.

Sheriff

ps: "welcome to hell"

Monday, January 01, 2007

2007 - it's Fergilicious!


Hey you crazy kids - the holidays are coming to a close and I am sitting watching the Rose Bowl getting under way. I am wiped out.


Last night we celebrated New Years with Rich/Shelley and Steve/Angela... we had some fun watching Fergie and Meatloaf singing away the new year and we started up an intense game hold em that lasted most of the evening - we finally rolled home at 4:30 am.


Sadly, I had to wake up around 9 to finish painting the kitchen... that's right, we scraped off all of the wallpaper and painted two shades of green!! It looks mighty pretty!!


Look closely at the far right corner to see the difference in paint.

Anyway, the holidays have been swag filled and marvelous! I got me tons of DVD goodies - and an excellent iPod adapter for the Audi which allows full digital music through my nice BOSE system... yummy!!!


I hope everyone had a great holiday - we are going to lay around the rest of the day and ease back into work... ugh.


Lilly has herself a head start... she is out!!! So am I.

Yo