Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Sly's "crotch tartar"

Ain't It Cool News has been posting Q&A with Sly Stallone all week. Here is the question and answer I have been waiting to hear for my entire life.

9. How and why did you get involved with the 1983 movie "Staying Alive"? Looking back at it now, what would you change about it if anything( it was rated #1 in Entertainment Weekly's Top 25 Worst Sequels Ever Made)? How much influence did you have on Travolta's look for the film?
- Jay Of
Orange, CT

I have to disagree that it’s the worst sequel ever made. It was definitely a lot better than my version of GET CARTER, which caused many people to run out and perform self-inflicted lobotomies.

If I could do STAYING ALIVE over I would make it grittier, more hand-held, John’s clothes baggier, and ban all pastel tank tops. I would’ve added much more of the Bee Gees. But the Bee Gees were very angry with me and refused to do more songs because I put a couple of songs by my brother in the movie. So they basically told me to get lost, but one has to take care of family.

By the way, three hours into that film I knew it was a bad idea for me to direct it. It’s a subject I know very little about and don’t care to learn more about. Dancing is definitely not my strong suit. But I love directing actors in practical locations around New York. That was great.

Also, I didn’t know what to do everyday when the actors would come up and say the Bob Mackie-designed costumes are chafing their erogenous zones into “crotch tartar.”

O - YOUR - GOD!!!!!!


Kern said...

Wow, and I thought I had a way with words.

Dear American Dialect Society: If you did not include the term "crotch tartar" on your 1983 list, I humbly request that it be let in for 2006 as a legacy.



Damfino said...

I have never seen Staying Alive....

my statement ends there.

Kern said...

Fino-I actually saw it on cable as a child. Imagine the confusion if you will, that occurred as a young Kern watched the rippling biceps and sculpted quads of a glittery, glammy gang of codpieced warriors, wearing garish skintight uniforms spinning and lifting in choreographed delight.

I'm not quite sure what the psychological ramifications of that are yet, but I think it's most likely going to manifest itself soon.

Damfino said...

You're not quite sure huh.... interesting.

Kern said...

Luckily, my interest in female body builders ended shortly after it began around age 9 or so.

A-ha! That must have been it. Phew, glad that phase is over.

Although it might explain why I still really enjoy seeing ladies in skintight latex outfits sometimes. Or Bob Mackie gowns.

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

Stayin Alive rocked!

Jed, Kern run, do not walk, to your emails for confirmation of what I speak.


Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

And yes that is Frank Stallone!

"I am down, but I am FAR FROM OVER!"


Damfino said...

I will be downloading the album tonight... STALLONE RULES!!!

Both Frank and Sly

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

my work here is done.....