Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Des Moines local does it again - two magazines in one year!

Cara desperately did not want me to post this - but then she realized the readership on the blog is about the size of the attendance of a HANSON revival concert and didn't care.

Cara and Shelley have made it into Workspan magazine - the image above is in the World at Work section (actually, the image they used has the girls running with their eyes closed - the photographer took several pictures - Cara sent me this one).

You might not recall but Cara was also on the cover of the Farm Bureau Annual Report!

I am not sure where her modeling career will take her - but I plan to be the coked-out boyfriend glomming along for the ride (with a sweet K-Fedish rap album to boot).



Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

So how would that be different from now?



Damfino said...

Wow - the blog readership has fallen off a tad. Sorry Cara - no comments for you.

Sheriff - you can suck my b@lls.

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

European car.....check

Crashing at her pad......check

High need for skin/hair products....check

Isn't this straight out of the K-Fed "how to be a playa" handbook


"Dorthy Mantooth is a SAINT!"

Damfino said...

Luckily I wear my hat straight on my head - walk upright - and don't record any of my rappings.

And Cara wears undergarments when out partying with friends.

Um - don't anyone comment on that.

Kern said...

Yes, but the question is, does Jed wear undergarments when he goes out on the town. I think I saw a taint shot when he was getting out of a limo the other day on Gawker.

Wait, to clarify were we not supposed to make undergarments comments period?

In any case, congrats, Cara. I can tell you, the life of a model is not easy.

During my short stint as poster boy for Sears' young men department modeling Tuffskins, I was lucky enough to have a very grounded entourage to keep me from getting too full of myself. Unfortunately, they tried too hard, and ended up giving me low self esteem for the better part of my adolescent and young adult life.

As for previous comments, I have to tell the Sheriff I nearly sharted at the hilarity.

Sorry about the post. All writing and no sleep makes Kern something something.

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

athank you Alex. Or should I say "Mr. Toughskins".

Wasn't that also your porn name in 1997.


Kern said...

Sheriff-I suppose you've seen the secret shameful video I released my senior year of high school. It was a nautical(or is that naughty-cal?) musical porno where I did a filthy dance number with up and coming actress Tamora Tunnels entitled "Spankers Away".

I have the cover art at home, I should send it to you.

krysta jo said...

Ooooo FUN FOR CARA!!!!

And ... ps ... in case the damfino world was wondering ... I am partying with Team K-Fed this year for the holidays. No, he's not the ideal man, but thank god he has never been photographed coming out of a PUBLIC restroom barefoot.

Keep that in mind Famous Cara - always wear shoes when you are in public (oh yeah and panties too please)...the papparazzi are everywhere.

Damfino said...

It was actually an entertaining film - I watched it back in 97.

I remember fondly an extremely difficult tap number that Kern did - dancing - singing - all while fel@ting a fellow high school student dressed as a football player.

The scene he referenced with Tamora Tunnels (T&T as we called her) was also impressive. I have yet to see anyone take a strap on (I believe the brand was called the Jack-Hammer) as well as Kern could.

The boy has talents.

Damfino said...

Sorry - my post was in reference to Kern's - not Kryta's filth-laiden post.

Damfino said...

Send K-Fed our warmest this holiday season - let him know Nicole Ritchie was released from jail and will take his calls.

Ain't Right said...

So wait. If Jed is going to follow in the footsteps of the esteemed Mr. Federline what is his catchy nickname going to be?


naa too easy.

How about J-Fin?

Maybe a little better. Anyone have any other ideas?

Damfino said...

J-Fin sounds like someone sneezing.

Damfino said...

Yours could be D-Schmac.... D-SMACK!

Dude - that is pretty cool.

Kern said...

Ah, memories. T & T was dynomite. For those with eagle eyes, the brand used in that scene was "The Garden Claw-For His Pleasure"

Though I think you must be recalling the football scene from the outtakes of Lucas, in which Cory Haim swallowed Charlie Sheen like an anaconda engulfing a Certs.

Though I also remember 1998, when Jed tried to get me to star in one of his "special films", as he called them. It was supposed to be a charming parody of The Big Lebowski, where I was Donny and he was the Dude. All I remember was we had a lot of White Russians and he kept whispering in my ear, "How would you like it if I gave you The Big Findlay?"

Then I passed out.

Good times, good times.

Ain't Right said...


Yea, I've been called that before. Of course I don't think she actually knew my name... ...weird.

Damfino said...


Damfino said...

I just had to type in "hsnuts" for the word verification.

How appropriate.

Damfino said...

Oh - D-smack could mean d*cksmack.

Sorry - that is not cool

Kern said...

Nice one on the Larry quote.

Hsnuts. Can you say awesome?

About the celeb contractions, shouldn't Jed and Cara get a contracted nickname like Tomkat or something? That's when you know you've made it in America.

Ain't Right said...

I thought of that too, but their names are almost too short

There's Jera or Cared. Neither seems good.

Damfino said...

Simply JC.

Now I will be endowed with the voice of GOD.


And embarassment ensues.


Damfino said...

Guys - I was bored and did a search up on the search Blogger thing... and I found a blog that had the Pick of Destiny on it.

The entire film! Shot on video at some local theater.

New Line ain't never going to find that dude.

You can watch it streamed... the whole thing!!

Damfino said...

They call me the conversation killer... great.

krysta jo said...

Ok back to the name thing - you can definitely do last names if need be but I don't know Cara's so I can't make one up. Jed - help here....

Dan and I have chosen "Dansta" for eerily makes me think of Tony Danza which reminds me of "Who's the Boss?" which takes me back to afternoons after 7th grade sitting and watching that show and wishing my name was Samantha Micelli so I could go by Sam and live with the pretty lady in the big house.

All that makes me think I need to go home now.

Damfino said...

Sheriff and BC = Gea or Andreg.


Kern said...

Kern and...dammit, I suck at this game.