Thursday, June 08, 2006

A special Sheriff day UPDATED!!!!!!

I woke up today with a smile on my face and a hop in my step. Today is a very special day... today - Gregory John Kreitner was born.

And Joan Rivers was spit out too.


Greg is a helluva guy - in fact, he is a bestie! Now, I don't have many besties in my life... but if there is one guy I can always count on - one guy who always is there to give that comforting squeeze of my cheeks and a little glass of Tanqueray and tonic - Greg is that guy.

Now, I know how old Greg is turning today - but I am not the kind of brother who would disclose without proper consent from the man himself. So, if you want to know - you can ask. Let's just say, Greg is old enough to have bought Sonny Crocket's complete wardrobe - and actually used it to score some Miami Vice loving hotties!

No matter - Kreitner is my boy, and I thrilled to share another big birthday with the man!!! Happy Birthday Greg-san!

Love ya brother!

btw - here is a slideshow of my feelings for Greg... yes, that is Kenny Rogers.

Greg B-day on Vimeo



Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

Thank you Jed for that warm tribute. Today is my 38th Birthday. June 8, 1968 at about 5:15am I liberated myself from the goulag of my mother's womb and begam my plans for world domination. But I soon got side tracked by having to take a big green crap. Anyway, I am very much looking forward the the Kern Returns bash to fully celebrate this grand day.(Flop are you listening?)

From what T-Bone tells me Kern can put on quite a show when the mood strikes. It should be a hoot on the 23rd.

To make a long story short, too late, I thank the Damfino crew, especially Jed (My little Nacho) for the rousing tribute to the man that is Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny.


ps: "Can we talk"

Kern said...

Happy Birthday, Sheriff!

You have arrested our hearts and minds with your invaluable humor and fantastical filthmongering.

Cheers and shit,


Kern said...

Jed-Loved the photo array, my man!

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

Kern said arrested....hehehe


Damfino said...

Added some slideshow love for my boy... no awkward hugging please.


Kern said...

How about non-awkward package grabbing?

Damfino said...

Only from you Kern - you filthy little sex machine!

Kern said...

I'm the filthiest little sex machine...who's never actually had sex.

One day I hope to find life outside the library walls...I think rounding up hot co-eds and bringing them to Kern Returns would be an excellent start.

That way my evening might end with a pretty please and a cherry on top.

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

Here are more great people born today.

Today's Birthdays: Former President Suharto of Indonesia is 85. Former first lady Barbara Bush is 81. Actor-comedian Jerry Stiller is 79. Comedian Joan Rivers is 73. Actress Millicent Martin is 72. Actor James Darren is 70. Actor Bernie Casey is 67. Singer Nancy Sinatra is 66. Singer Chuck Negron (Three Dog Night) is 64. Musician Boz Scaggs is 62. Actor Don Grady is 62. Rock musician Mick Box (Uriah Heep) is 59. Author Sara Paretsky is 59. Actress Sonia Braga is 56. Actress Kathy Baker is 56. Country musician Tony Rice is 55. Singer Bonnie Tyler is 53. Actor Griffin Dunne is 51. "Dilbert" creator Scott Adams is 49. Actor-director Keenen Ivory Wayans is 48. Singer Mick Hucknall (Simply Red) is 46. Musician Nick Rhodes (Duran Duran) is 44. Rhythm-and-blues singer Doris Pearson (Five Star) is 40. Actress Julianna Margulies is 39. Actor Dan Futterman is 39. Actor David Sutcliffe is 37. Rhythm-and-blues singer Nicci Gilbert is 36. Actress Kelli Williams is 36. Actor Mark Feuerstein is 35. Contemporary Christian musician Mike Scheuchzer (MercyMe) is 31. Rapper Kanye West is 28. Folk-bluegrass singer-musician Sara Watkins (Nickel Creek) is 25.

Thought for Today: "Malice drinks one-half of its own poison." — Seneca, Roman statesman (circa 5 B.C.-A.D. 65).

My favorite: Nancy Sinatra, close 2nd Ben Stiller.


Buttercup said...

kern make sure that they are 18 buddy. oh yes a big weekend has been planned. I was told that this was not only a 1 day celebration buT A 4
loved the video Jed and the fact you used bestie

Damfino said...


I love that guy.

So nobody can see the slideshow? STILL?!?!

Flash looks like garbage but you should be able to see it... for god's sake people -download FIREFOX to browse with.

If you are still using IExplorer... you need to harm yourself.

Damfino said...

Thank you Drea... you are a bestie too - but don't tell Greg.

Kern said...

Dude, it's Bernie Casey's fucking birthday????

That kicks ass! One of the coolest blaxploitation actors ever!

And Nancy Sinatra was hot too.

/wearing boots right now

Kern said...

Jed-I was able to view the slideshow on IE. But I use Firefox at home. I just use IE because I have to at work.

Kern said...

Oh yes, and jeers to the guy from Simply Red for being in Simply Red.

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...


Your words hurt, and yes I am "Holding back the Tears" right now because of them. And because I am so broken up I can not work today so "Money's too tight to mention".


Viewed your Ocsar worthy slide show over lunch. Nearly spit up when George Oscar Bluth Jr. showed up on my screen. The Kreitner cackle was heard throughout the neighborhood. Good stuff man!


ps: where the hell is flop?

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

Flop has been called on the brother-in-law hotline.

All we can do now is hope and pray.


Damfino said...

Hello? Flop?

Where are you nut flopper?

Thanks for the cackle Sheriff... I put that in just for you.

FlopTheNuts said...

HAPPY 63RD, CRAIG!!!! Just 2 years until the Social Security checks start rolling in!

Sorry, I couldn't resist - on either count. For those who may not know, Donovan, Andrea's younger brother, called Greg Craig for about, what, the first 2 or 3 months after Greg was introduced to Donovan. Sheriff, correct me if necessary on the length of time you were known as Craig to Donovan.

Where was Flop today? Home, recovering from work. Long story short, our SAN (network storage device) took an absolutely huge crap. Of the hours between 9AM Monday and 10AM Wednesday, I worked all but 4 of 'em. Lots of time on the phone with Dell and EMC tech support. Collapsed Wednesday, didn't do much more today. Just around 3 today I finally got out of bed and ate breakfast and lunch, both at once.

Blogger sucks - very slow right now, for whatever reason.

OK, now back to the good shizzie!

I win the "who's right about Greg's birthday" contest between Trish and I. I have a bit of help remembering the day, though - add to the list of Today's Birthdays Alma McCabe, my Grandma (my Dad's Mom).

Seriously and sincerely: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GREG!! Glad to know you, have you in the family, and have you around! I wouldn't have anyone else as my Hold 'Em wingman.

Your wingman for other occasions, Flop

BTW, I could see up your skirt in the pic where you're on the boat (about 2:17 in the slideshow). Nice! Tee-hee.

Damfino said...

And flop "tee-hee"'s on the crotch shot. Nice.

Jeez Bry - Two solid days of getting the network back up... ugh!

Not fun.

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...


I hope my "junk" met with your approval!

Glad to see your back in blogging shape after Neo interfaced with your network and crashed the system. Damn Trinity and her needing to play supper fast Doom 4!!! Gunch.

Thanks for the nice words Bryan. And as Mavrick said to Ice Man; "Bullshit you can be my wingman!" hehehe.

Looking forward to seeing you again on June the 23rd at KErn Returns. We must talk before then.

I am off work today. My Dad is comming over for the weekend with his she bitch Betty. Ahh Deuce Bigalow how we miss ya. Cleaning up the yard and house for the visit.

Talk to ya'll on Monday.