Monday, June 06, 2005

Auntie Em!!!

Whoa - I am still shaking from my week in San Antonio. What a ball... can't wait till this coming weekend to catch up on some sleep.

One little tale that occured on the trip home. We were heading through Oklahoma, when my buddy Loren (Porter-house to those who know him dearly... he is Delta in the posse) pulled up some radar and took notice of a cell that was 10 miles wide by 15 miles in length. The bloody thing had 5 different twisters acting up in it! So we pulled off just to be safe.

Almost immediately after pulling off - the interstate closed. We scrambled to find a place that was secure, this turned out to be a walk in freezer at an ice cream restaurant. We had almost 80 people crammed in that thing. Hail pounded down... winds started to scream... and for about 25 min - I froze my tail off.

Finally, 2 hours later, we packed up on the bus and headed back out. Crazy. Death seemed semi imminent... and all I could think about was getting back on the bus to watch more Scrubs.

I am a special boy.

Pce out!

p.s. Oh yeah... the girls arrive 3 days before my birthday. All is right in the world!!!



krysta jo said...

Oh my good lord. Sorry about the twisters but in an evil and sinister way, I was giggling on the inside as I read this. Don't worry - I have slapped myself and will be sent to hell in the afterlife for that giggle.

Kern said...

Was it a cute giggle? I think cute giggles only land one in Purgatory...

Kern said...

Oh, and I have to comment on the new Gilmore box art.

Lovely as always...I think young Rory is finally coming into her own, but is still a few yards short of being as stunning as Lorelai.

The months until the season premiere are already burning agony...

krysta jo said...

I saw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie this weekend. Because you are all so obsessed with Rory, you should see it. It was cute.

Of course it was a cute giggle ...

Damfino said...

Stop with the cute giggling!!! It is not allowed in this forum.

Mr. Kern, I would have you know that Miss Krysta Jo was a naughty little cowgirl this past week - chasing down cowboys with her mum.

She also was a key player in a towel throwing incident that left some individuals wounded and helpless.

Beware her giggle... it has a bite.

p.s. My new fun phrase is calling my personal parts - "unmentionables." Scrubs Season 1... oh how you make me cry!!

krysta jo said...

I had nothing to do with the towel incident. Trust me. Nothing.

I was too busy attempting to hide from the hotel police and find myself a suitable Wrangler-wearing cowboy.

Jed missed his opportunity to see me two-step with a wide array of not-ugly men. He was "too good" for that kind of group activity.

Cute giggling rules. It's makes the cowboys say "Darlin'".

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

So were you scoping out the babes in the freezer? Because on the eve of my death I might be wanting to have relations and then eat some butter pecan yummies....but that is just me.....

welcome back friend.

Damfino said...

KJ - I was not too good for the Boot Skoot... the posse made plans to do something else - but two of the clan left Porter and I high and dry by hitting the skoot. We got to look the fools.

Sheriff - no freezer loving. The whole thing was way too ridiculous to actually think death would be involved. Not to worry - my end will be much more poignant.

Something involving a large cliff and a band of naked women... perhaps.

Kern said...

That's what I like to hear, Jed. Thinking big, even in the event of his death.

I must say how glad I am that you guys are back. I was actually almost semi-productive last week.

Krysta, sounds to me like you had some fun. I'd like to point out that there are those of us who aren't cowboys who use "darlin'".

I like saying it, though I rarely have any reason to, as that would mean I'm actually in close enough proximity to a woman to use it. (Lorelai and Rory don't count)

Damfino said...

Make use of it tonight... er... Friday... whenever your date is. That will send her running to the hills.

Ahhh. The girls look soooo good. I need my GG fix NOW!


krysta jo said...

Alex - just do NOT use the term "A-game" at any point during your date. That is a super mood killer. Also, do not let her know that you have a lot of bad qualities.

The boot scoot was super fun - so sorry you missed it Jed. We attempted to catch baby turtles in addition to scarfing some good food and dancing til my little toes hurt.

Alex - how's my sweater and hat combo coming along?

Kern said...

Krysta: I think she would find out rather quickly that I have plenty of bad qualities, whether I used the term "A-game" or not. To make a long story short about this date, it was a result of, and after spending a week discussing this girl's twisted ankle, unemployment, and love of the Sims, I was pretty apprehensive about our phone conversation. We had said phone conversation on Friday night, and I tried very hard to be as charming and interesting as possible. She sounded as though she were struggling to come up with replies to anything. I truly believe she would have let us sit there with dead air for the remainder of the evening if I hadn't tactfully cut it off.

The point is, she has turned out to be far different than I thought from the first few times we talked. I don't think we have too much in common. She was really distant and unenthusiastic on the phone. It made me feel like she's kind of blase about everything. I spent a long time trying to pull myself out of that kind of feeling, and I don't really think it's good for me to be around people that might put me back in that mindset.

God,I hope I don't sound like some self-inflated wanker, because I'm really not that way, but I just get a lot of red flags from this person(too many to list here).

The sweater/hat thing isn't going as well as I'd hoped. It's looking a bit more like a Thneed from the Lorax than anything else. Do you need a Thneed?

Jed: The main event is tonight. At Barnes and Noble. We'll see how it goes. I feel terrible that I'm not more into it, and I really don't want to hurt her feelings, because I know what it's like when someone doesn't feel like it's going to work and in my experience, I've not usually been let down gently, so I want to avoid the Nasty, Brutish and Short approach if possible. It hurts when people do it that way, and I don't want to be that guy.

Now back to this towel incident Jed spoke of...was it throwing or whipping? And what were the extent of the injuries?

krysta jo said...

Alex - good luck with your date - keep an open mind but come up with a backout plan and if it doesn't go well, do not promise you'll call. Just say "Thanks" and run away screaming. Well...scratch that about screaming. Sorry...wrong scenario. Anyway...good luck - we all need in depth details tomorrow. After all, some of us (mostly Jed) need entertainment in our lives!! (kidding Jed).

Wanker - good word.

And..every princess needs a Thneed. That would be HOTT.

Someone (not me) threw a knotted up towel across the room and rudely hit Jed in the side of the face. Don't worry though - no damage was done.

Kern said...

Thanks for the advice. I really hope my saying thanks for hanging out or some near equivalent is going to be direct enough.

Do not fear, I will provide the sordid(read: lukewarm) details tomorrow for all interested parties.

I will continue work on the Thneed. Unfortunately, results may vary due to a irregular cold snap decimating the Truffula Tree crop this season; I've had to resort to using regular yarn. As I've said before, my knitting skills are virtually non-existent, so your Thneed may end up looking more like one of the ponchos that Clint Eastwood wore in his Westerns.

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but Seattle is a tough, tough town for dating. Like almost impossible. Many of the ladies here are very, very, aloof and seem to need to be impressed immediately or it's curtains for you. Even though I didn't have a great track record in the Midwest, either, I still like Iowa girls more. They're much sweeter by far.

Alex K

krysta jo said...

FYI - The Iowa dating scene isn't a whole lot better. Trust me - I have stories about men with half-fingers and marijuana and "lots of bad qualities" that would shock you right back into the corner.

Oh and I forgot the BEST story from San Antonio. As we were walking to dinner one night I saw a guy stealing a car on the street right next to the sidewalk. That was impressive.

Kern said...

Wow, so it's like a cage match of horrible dating climates...

In this corner we have the Ingenues of Ennui, the Ladies of Languor, the Females of Frigid...Womennnnn of Seaaaattle...

And in this corner, we have the Boys of Diminished Digits, the Men of Mary Jane...Iowaaaaa Maaaales!

Yeah, I don't know which is worse now that I think about it. Perhaps we should have some kind of exchange program of some sort. We'll send some of our nice, hapless men who keep getting shut down to Iowa for a visit, and Iowa can export some of their ladies who have some warmth and personalities. I'm already signed up, but I'll only be there for four days, unfortunately. It would be my luck that while I'm gone they would send the nice female delegate from Iowa to Seattle and we'd end up passing each other in the Denver airport or something contrived or ridiculous like that.

I told Jed that when I come back, I'm ready to cut loose. And as he can probably tell you, that sounds funny coming from me, because most people think I act like I'm 60 most of the time. But I'm still "down to get my groove on" as the kids say...

krysta jo said...

I heard you were coming for a visit. Exciting times.

I would sign up for the exchange program as well, but Seattle is rainy and humid and my hair gets kind of crazy curly in humidity. Guess I'm going to have to put up with the shenanigans of Iowa boys.

Ok I am going to post the question of the day because this comment list is getting too long.