Wednesday, June 22, 2005

ahem

I'm not feeling alright today
I'm not feeling that great
I'm not catching on fire today
Love has started to fade
I'm not going to smile today
I'm not going to laugh
You're outliving it up today
I got dues to pay

And the gravedigger puts puts on the forceps
The stonemason does all the work
The barber can give you a haircut
The carpenter can take you out to lunch

I just want to play on my pam pipes
I just want to drink me some wine
As soon as you're born you start dying
So you might as well have a good time

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

I don’t want go to sunset strip
I don’t wanta feel the emptiness
Bold maces with stupid band names
I don’t want go to sunset strip
I don’t wanta go sunset strip
I don’t wanta feel the emptiness
Bold maces with stupid band names
I don’t wanta go sunset strip

And the gravedigger puts puts on the forceps
The stonemason does all the work
The barber can give you a haircut
The carpenter can take you out to lunch

I just want to play on my pam pipes
I just want to drink me some wine
As soon as you're born you start dying
So you might as well have a good time

Sheep go to heaven

Goats go to hell

43 comments:

Kern said...

Is that Cake?

Damfino said...

you bet your adorable seatlleass it is!

Kern said...

The good news is that I just received a compliment on the adorableness of my ass. The bad news is that the compliment was courtesy of a man who lives almost 2000 miles away.

Oh well, I'll take what I can get.

I remember that song from a few years back. Good horns.

urnotme said...

Hey I thought we were finished with semi-offensive words? Good Horns?

Damfino said...

kern has some good horns.... uh... ugh... just made myself sick.

Kern said...

Are you saying I don't have good horns? Huh?

Uh...what exactly are "horns" in this context. I want to know if I should be sickened as well.

Kern said...

Speaking of Semi-Offensive, I think I should start a "Countdown to Debauchery" calendar on my desk, so that I can mark off the days until The Kern Returns.

Jed, I'm thinking about designing some sort of e-flyer to send to all the people who might be coming so that we're all on the same page. I think I get in at 3:30 on the 15th so what time should we have people come over?

urnotme said...

Oh you should be very sickened....


I need something funny to read today... maybe some yo momma jokes or something lame like that

Damfino said...

People could come over 8 ish... or 9... hopefully bringing some beverages with them.

I don't know any yo mama jokes

Kern said...

8-ish. Exxxcellent...(Insert Monty Burns hand wringing here).

I was going to tell everyone to bring a six pack or a bottle of something or other. I'll be getting that together and distributing it.

My camera should be here soon as well, so I'll be able to capture all the naughty goodness. Oh yeah!

I know some yr mama jokes, but they're kind of crude. At least the one I can think of is.

Damfino said...

Kern - you know of this Kid Dakota stuff?

Kern said...

I am not aware of Kid Dakota. I would listen to it, but I haven't any speakers here at work. I'll have to check it out when I get home.

Sheriff Officer Greg the Bunny said...

Is there an open call for damfino regs. when the Kern arrives in the DM? The sheriff and his partner McMillan and Wife might like to partake in the event?

"Oh great I got a bear claw stuck up my ass"

"What's wrong here, can't an alien fall into a stress induced hibernation and not end up in a dumpster!"

Damfino said...

"I'm pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies!!"

Oh course you can come out... the more the merrier!!

I was actually gonna do a proper invite (ya know, the kind where my pants are around my ankles) this weekend.

The difference between you and famous people... by Rodger

"You drink water - they drink vodka. You sleep in a bed with your wife... they pass out on Tara Reid!"

Kern said...

I get to finally meet the Sherriff in person! Perhaps Urnotme and Holly might join us as well?

Jed, you were going to have yr pants around yr ankles?

Bravo, sir, you've gone back to wearing pants again!

Damfino said...

Just around my ankles....

damnit - can't this stuff ever stay clean?











.... (that's what she said!)

Kern said...

Who is this she? I want names.

And I have a feeling keeping it clean around here is going to be pretty hard.

urnotme said...

Hey that's my "that's what she said" Thief.

Kern yeah we'll be making an appearance. A grand appearance.

Yo momma jokes are this shit. I can't believe no one dropped any.

Yo momma so poor
I saw her kicking a can down the street so I asked her what she was doing she said, "moving"

Kern said...

Here's a classy classic Mama joke.

"I heard yo momma got fired from her job at the sperm bank for drinking on the job"

Thank you, thank you. Try the veal.

Damfino said...

I heard yo momma was stupid... and smealt of eldeberries!

krysta jo said...

Your mama so fat when she sits on a rainbow skittles pop out.

Not really sure about that one, but given the extremeness of my day, it's all I could come up with.

Thanks for playin'.

Damfino said...

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

urnotme said...

That was disgusting.

Jed tell me you can do better. Please.

Yo momma so nasty Yo daddy gots to pour salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.

krysta jo said...

Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!

Damfino said...

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

krysta jo said...

URNOTME - that was sooo gross. Ewww crotch critters.

Damfino said...

Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.

urnotme said...

Thank you. I try to give my all. Ah-ite. Back to work. lunch time is over
out

Damfino said...

This day... I am writing it off.

krysta jo said...

Don't leave - I just got here. And I am so writing off today. Your cartoon was priceless - that is exactly how I feel (well except I am not wearing rocketship underwear...just strawberry shortcake).

Damfino said...

i was not sure anyone could read the c&h comic.

i am cooking chicken tonight... for the boys... did not get out to try on boots.

wanna go home.

krysta jo said...

I am going to try on boots too so I can buy them soon. I am pumped - my mom thinks we are strange.

Oh and thanks for explaining to her how to escape squirrels. She was confused but is now a better person for having witnessed that.

Damfino said...

he he heee.

Your mom kills me.

Is there a boot store in ames?

krysta jo said...

Yes there is --- I believe it's south of 30 on South Duff.

Damfino said...

We can go do some trying on next week during lunch.

krysta jo said...

Yes we can. I cannot do Tuesday or Wednesday however next week.

My mom says the same about you.

Damfino said...

I am out... talk to you a bit tomorrow... will be out most of the day for the Arts festival... and won't be in Friday at all.

It is hard to leave the damfinobloggers... I love them so.

PCE!

Kern said...

I learned how to escape squirrels at a young age. Filthy little bastards...

My day is a near write off as well. Had lunch with my Dad and spent way too long in the boss'office getting sucked into a floor show when I initially went in for something serious. He's just too funny.

It's raining here. And I want to go home and write my column for the week.

krysta jo said...

Ahhh it's sunny here. The day has totally sucked away all of my will to live a fruitful life. I'm on my way to go see Madagascar and drink some whiskey, tequila and bourbon.

Have a great one - 'til tomorrow.

urnotme said...

Is anybody out there?

QueenB said...

me.

urnotme said...

Are worker b's aloud to associate with the queen?

QueenB said...

sure as long as you dont get caught not working!