My gut has grown three-fold from yesterday's game! I sat around at Larry and Rhonda's gorging on (lemme list this);
3 pieces of popcorn cake
1 piece of champagne cake
a beef hoagie
2 bowls of chip and dip
2 ribs
bowl of strawberries and cool whip
almost a pound of smoked ham
4 beers (2 harp 2 bass)
The game looked beautiful on their 50 inch Plasma! We had a ball - and the game was pretty damn good too.
We also had to work on the shower this weekend - sadly, some tiles had caved in and water was destroying the entire thing (also, the soap tile dish attacked Devin - so it had to be let go). So Devin and I (Josh picked up lunch) did some work. Here is the process;
Step #1 Tear into the tiles - have a ball with this! You can use whatever device you choose, just rip into the ugly ugly shower with all of your anger (watch for ant infestations!).
Take these moments to enjoy your success - and air out your pits.
Eww - look at what comes out of your walls. Non-dry dry wall is not yummy.
Step #2 Measure 5 times and cut 23 - make sure you drill those screws into the studs. Otherwise they just kind of sit and spin... like a swell blind date.
Step #3 Clean off those tiles - no one likes a filthy tile.
Step #4 Take a break with the family - share a little pasta fazool and enjoy some exposed Drea de Matteo!
Step #5 (yes, that is supposed to be a five) Crack open some finely brewed swill after realizing Devin is doing most of the work.
Final step - grout/adhese the hell outta the tiles. This is fun - inhale deeply!
You're done! Congratulations - you have a wonderfully crafted white nipple in your shower for all to enjoy. Why call it a white nipple... well, frankly, because we are filthy boys.
Good weekend - hope yours was as fun!
Yo
P.S. Do you get the subject line now?
32 comments:
Fixed shower, check
50 inch plasma, check.....bastard
Buttercup comming to DM for a few days this week for work, perhaps.
Get the floor ready Mrs. Sheriff may be crashing tues-wed night at the Mantel. I'm sure BC will be in touch Fino.
b.o.
ps: best ad...streaking sheep Bud Light...game a little slow with brief bursts of excitement....the reverse pass play great...75 yard run..great.
Randel El threw an amazing pass - Big Ben threw a similar pass for an interception right before!!
Who knew?
Drea - She will have to call the work number I left the cell at home.
YEAH!!! We could use some Buttercup loving!
I dug the FedEx ad - prehistoric delivery. Loved it when the guy punted the tiny Dilop... dilopo... small little dinosaur.
yo I am back in the land of the flat and corn here in Iowad. SLC was beautiful, but I am glad to be home. Will post some pictures for you later
SLC?
Glad you are back Drea - your hubby was a little aloof whilst you were missing.
He tended to wander around - confused and befuddled.
Poor chap - he needs more love.
After the Game Fino had Super Colon Blow LXLLIII....
After all that food Fino and his colon put the smack down on The City of West Des Moines and the boys at the public works building.
b.o.
Hey all. Believe it or not, The Kern actually watched the game. Yes, it's true. Can you hear the hoofbeats of those four horsemen?
Other than that saw some movies this weekend. I am desperately trying hard to get back into that mode. Expect more film related gibberish at my blog in the near future, including reviews of Match Point and Broken Flowers.
Destroyed the downstairs toilet too - but we are posting the replacement pictures of that next week.
Please say you didn't rip out that "makes your feet warm" carpet in the downstairs Sheriff dumpatorium.....
b.o.
It's like a regular ep of Trading Spaces in the Damfino household...
Dumpotorium...heh heh.
I, of course, was being... how the French say it... "humorouso!"
I would never mess with the Sheriff's personal wee wee playgound.
Kern - I am slapping you for the Dumpotorium... you are better than that.
I was just repeating what the Sheriff said and snickering. Or is that what the slap was for?
"Smurfette's nipple" - frickin' ROTFLMAO hilarious!!
(That's Rolling On The Floor, Laughing My A$$ Off, BTW. That's By The Way, BTW. Oh!)
I agree, Sheriff: game did have some zzzzz parts (especially the end), but the gadget play was GREAT - that throw was BEAUTIFUL! Nice spiral, pretty much in-step with receiver. Honestly, I didn't care too much which team won, but I liked seeing the Steelers win: 1, Cowher's first Super Bowl win; 2, Bettis' possibly retiring (thus going out on a high note); and, 3, the use of the gadget play! :)
'Fino, I dug the FedEx commercial, too! Gotta say I liked the caveman getting squished just as much if not more than caveman kicking little dino.
And, 'Fino, aren't you a little, uh, 'off' when you say "We worked on ... " - looks more like "Devin worked on ... ". ;)
Oooo, I just can't pass this verification word up - did you have *scfali* whilst watching Sopranos?
During the scenes at the Bing he "venufd" in his jeans.
Gentlemen, start your filthy engines!
"Venufd" elicits a giddy giggle.
Sheriff always gets a free pass with his level of filth - I laugh uncontrolably at everything he says (one could say he loosens my taint with words... but then one would be really vile).
I count on you, Kern, to add another heaping pile of steaming poo onto Kreitner's - not a commendation of his own craptacualr-osity!
Flop - you are here-by banned from using the term "gadget-play" again.
I mean really - what would Trish say?
Also - blow me.
Ya know... about the Devin comment... that was not an offer... I can quit on you (ref. to Brokeback Mountain and very funny to us lame @sses!)!
Oh, I almost forgot about the MacGyver commercial!! That was one of my favorites, top 3 I'd say.
If you missed any, or just want to see them again, check out http://www.ifilm.com/superbowl?htv=12. Also has last 5 years-worth of Super Bowl commercials.
Yeah!
And finally - someone dug the smurfette' nipple bit. I have been throwing that out all weekend and no one has been hopping on the train!
Kern - I re-read your use of "dumpotorium" and I laughed that you responded to it. You are pardoned.
Mac looked tubby! Like the starting the rig bit.
The Full Throttle one with all of the stuff in it was pretty funny - not mind blowing.
Oh - yeah - we liked the cell phone with "theft protection."
That was good.
Wait, so did the comment about you spraying your manly tapioca in your pants count as filth layered over the Sheriff's filth?
Sheriff's were aimed at my toilet... you are aiming at my crotch.
Stay away from my crotch.
How quickly you change your mind fickle man...
Hey - you were diving at every crotch that weekend.
Josh had to start wearing his chastity cup again!
Well, as I've mentioned before, it's very hard to meet people in Seattle, so I was just being social.
Didn't see you rushing to stop me. Or the Midgets!
What kind of $$$ off the rent is the slum lord giving ya'll for your work?
Jed opted to take it out in trade.
Rough Trade...
I'll have to whiffle bat you Kern if you keep that up.
All materials are paid for - supurfluous nipple is added bonus.
Two words:
Aaron Neville
Oh Fino, I kid, I kid.
I was just trying to add my own special brand of filth to the proceedings.
So besides Smurf nipples is there anything else happening?
If only Aretha could have eaten off that thing on Aaron's brow.
Ugh.
Not much else - saw Brokeback... not that great.
Hmm. Still haven't seen it. Though I am making a concerted effort for the first time in several years to see as many Oscar nominated films as I can before the awards. I have a darned big list to work through as a matter of fact.
Brokeback, Capote, Munich, Crash, Good Night and Good Luck, Syriana, Transamerica just to name a few...
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